A whimsical dream

The dream has two parts.

I was on the island with my friend, Tom, to prepare for my wedding. Tom is my closest male friend. He dates guys and talks to me like a girlfriend. 

I planned to get my wedding makeup and dress and then go take a photo in front of Disneyland. Yes, I want a "wedding photo" with Mickey.

Tom and I stayed in the hotel room. We shared a bed and slept together for two nights. There were lots of talks, drinks, and laughter. On the last morning, I got up and told him that I'm looking for a job at the Contemporary Gallery.

Tom said, "If you get the job at the Contemporary Gallery, honestly..."

I thought he was trying to give me some working tips.

"You will meet lots of attractive girls. Make sure you introduce me," he said.

"What? I thought you were gay!" I sat up, my body still naked.

"Yes, but gay men can be attracted to women," Tom said calmly.

 "But we shared a bed for two nights. Now you are telling me you are attracted to women?" I'm confused and trying to get more duvets to cover my body.

Tom stood up, walked to the coffee machine, and left me with a view of his naked back and butt.

I rushed into the bathroom, turned on the water, and tried to take a shower to get ready for my wedding day. I knew Ethan, my fiancé, was on his way. And I planned to take a photograph with Mickey Mouse before he arrived this morning.

"Oh well, it's not a big deal, I find both boys and girls attractive," Tom walked into the bathroom with his coffee.

"You should have told me!" I'm confused. Does he mean he's not attracted to me at all? That is even more embarrassing. I looked at my body, medium-sized, nothing special, no bubble butt. Not too attractive, I know…

After showering, we went to the train platform to look for our suitcase. There are many people on the platform, packed. It is chaos; some are running. The platform is 800, but our suitcase was located at 600. What is going on? Where are these people going?

I went to the lower level; a group of high school kids entered a hall filled with gaming machines. They are all mesmerized, walking in one direction. A woman is trying to climb up; she seems desperate to escape.

“What’s going on?” I ask her.

“Watch out those uniformed people. Don’t get caught no matter how nice they talk to you, “she reaches into her pocket and throws me a red flip phone, “text your fiancé; it may be your last words to him.”

I picked up the red flip phone and looked around. 3-5 uniforms are walking towards our level. I run into an open space; it is a restaurant.

I run into their bathroom and try to text Ethan.

“Those poor students,” two waitresses walked in.

“Shush! Don’t say anything, or we will get in trouble.” The other waitress stops her friend.

I could not move, not even one breath, until they walked out of the bathroom.

The R might be emerging or the big dictator taking over the city. It is time; they always talk about that. But today is the day, also my wedding day, before my fiancé arrives, before I can say my vow and kiss him goodbye.

Dear Ethan,

I miss you now and hope you are safe and well. If I could never see you after today, please remember the good times we've shared. Perhaps we could have a big house near the lake, raise three kids, and I would prepare breakfast and serve you tea every morning. I would eagerly wait for you to come home for dinner with me and all our little ones.

I truly wish you could hold me now, and I know that would ease my fear and pain.

But if I have to face today in a cold, helpless space, please remember to kiss your hand for me. 

Thank you, and I love you